Motherhood Fail

This is a picture of my carpet covered in chocolate ice cream.  Matilda is the little booger that put it there, not to mention various other places around the house.  It was Malia who got the ice cream out of the freezer, without permission (clearly), and left it on the kitchen counter.  I'm the moron who thought I could put on a movie for the kids--Monsters Vs. Aliens--and take a little break, as I had a very busy/stressful day.

By little break, I mean just that: a very short break, thirty minutes tops, so I could decompress before I had to pick up the clutter around the house and make some dinner.  And anyway, our place is small.  I was only one room away.

Funny thing:  I've already been through this.  Three years ago.  Except last time it was peanut butter instead of ice cream.  It was so bad I had to grab a camera and film it.  Enjoy.



Seriously,  what   is   wrong   with   me ?  Why didn't I learn from the peanut butter incident?  When will I learn that I'm never going to get a break.  Such a thing is not an option when one has small children!  Clearly, I fail at motherhood (today).

Visit to the Pediatrician's office

Matilda and Malia patiently waiting for the Nurse Practitioner.

So, the other day I took Malia and Matilda to the pediatrician for their check-ups. Overall it was a good visit, until the needles came out--I'll talk about that later. Get this: Matilda weighed in at 30 lbs, 1 oz! And Malia? Weighed in at 40 lbs, even. The best part is Malia is 4 years old (-ish... her birthday is in July) and Matilda is 19 months. The fact that there is only a ten pound difference between the two, isn't lost on me.

Am I worried that Matilda is so big? Not-so-much. Why? Because Mayah and Malia were exactly the same when they were her age: very chubby. And it was around the 18 month mark their weight plateaued, staying the same for another year or so. So, no, I am not worried. And anyway, I love chubby babies/toddlers, especially when they are as cuddly as my Matilda.

When it came time for the Nurse Practitioner to ask questions, things got a little wild. What I mean is, Malia started tickling Matilda--who is insanely ticklish--and before I knew it things got a little out of control. And by 'out of control' I mean it was as if there was a clown convention going on in that tiny room: all sorts of giggling, shrieking, and examination table paper crinkling like mad. Neither the Nurse nor I could concentrate. So, I did what any rational mother would do: I separated the two of them. Unfortunately this didn't help matters much.

You see, at first I tried to hold Matilda in my lap, but since she was so wound up she wasn't having it. So after struggling with her for a short while, I placed her on the floor. It was at this point that she decided to spin around in circles, laughing like a hyena, because she was getting the full attention of the Nurse Practitioner.

Remembering that my mom--who was visiting at the time--was sitting out in the waiting room, I excused myself and got her so she could help me control Matilda while I answer questions. Thankfully, this worked and we finally got through all the questions--only losing about 10-ish minutes overall.

It was at this point the subject of shots was brought up...

So, yeah... here's the deal: the girls are a little behind on their immunizations. And by 'a little' I mean 'a lot'. Of course I'm embarrassed about it, which is why I've been putting off going to the doctors office, which, of course, only made matters worse.

Fortunately the Nurse Practitioner understood my apprehension about getting my girls immunized--you know, with Mayah and all--and I didn't feel judged, which was nice. She figured we could get them caught up within the next few months or so. Unfortunately that meant the girls would be getting five shots each before we went home.

It was so sad! Malia was 9 months old the last time she had an immunization shot so she had no idea what was about to happen to her. And of course, being the middle child, she was happy to have the attention of TWO nurses, so she was all smiles. They had me hold her arms while they explained to her that she was going to get five pokes, and she started to giggle innocently. It was at at this point that I wanted to cry or have someone slap me (repeatedly) for being a bad mother. And if I could have, I would have taken all five of those shots for her.

Long story short: she cried. A lot. And she said "Mommy, NO!" over and over again until they were done (which only took about thirty seconds but felt like a ba-zillion years). When they finished with her she gave both nurses the stink-eye and I told her not to be mad at them. And after they brought her a Popsicle, she wasn't.

When it was Matilda's turn, the first two shots didn't even make her cry. It was during the third shot that she started to waiver. And the fourth shot pushed her over the edge into full-fledged screaming--it was so sad. Thankfully, she only had one more to go, and she was done. But afterward she held onto me tight while she sobbed.

Shots are the worst! I really hate them. Because every time one of my kids get them, I cry too. I try not to, because, man is it embarrassing! But I can't help it. I wish immunizations didn't have to be so dang painful. And I wish I didn't have to take Matilda and Malia back in two months to get more (because they are so behind).

But like I said, the visit wasn't so bad: both girls are healthy and getting caught up with their immunizations, which is a good thing, right? Now I don't have to be embarrassed to take them into the doctor's office.

P.S. After the we left the doctor's office, I went to Target to get some children's Tylenol. I also got the girls an inexpensive present for being so brave. Oh! And some candy. I know, I am such a freaking pushover sometimes. But in my defense: FIVE SHOTS EACH!!!

My Baby is 18 (Months), Today!

Matilda enjoying snack time in Nursery

Can you believe it? Yeah, neither can I. It seemed like she was never going to be old enough to be in Nursery. Okay, so eighteen months isn't that long. But, when I measure that time in the amount of stinky diapers I've changed--for her alone--well, then it just seems like forever.

Now I give time permission to really, really slow down so I can savor the next few years of her life.

An Afternoon at the Park

I'll let the photos speak for themselves.

Worst Way To Wake Up In The Morning

Guess what everybody? I just discovered the worst way to wake up in the wee hours of the morning (after having stayed up the majority of the night putting out vomit-related fires, doing load after load of laundry AND barely having the opportunity to hop into bed myself).

The Worst Way To Wake Up In The Morning is to have your 10 month old vomiting ON YOUR FACE! Yeah, you read that right: My baby vomited ON MY FACE. TWICE. Because the first wave of vomit didn't exactly wake me up immediately. Oh and it was pedialyte. So it reeked of grape flavor (and no, I didn't taste it but the SMELL was incredibly strong) Talk about disgusting.

Now that I've made you throw up in your own mouth, I'll sign off.

Penny Bitner, Mother of three very sick little girls

Sooo not in the mood...

Blerg. I am so not in the mood to blog (am I seriously the only one?). At all . I just feel so... blah. I blame the holidays and the freezing cold weather.

But I have so many cute photos from Christmas break and I know I should post them. Because the longer I wait to post them the likelihood of me posting them will go down. Besides, perhaps posting something will get me in the mood to blog again.

So here you go (sorry for the lack of enthusiasm):

Before anyone thinks I'm a bad mom for giving my baby a candy cane, I'll have you know that it's fake. I had to invest in fake candy canes last year when Mayah and Malia ate all the real candy canes in less then a day (Maybe I am a bad mom...).

'Twas the night before Christmas...and the girls got matching jammies.

Matilda got a high chair, finally. She totally loves it too.

Mayah and Malia love playing Rock Band. Sometimes they play instruments and sometimes they dance. Malia is being a dancing girl and Mayah is rockin' out on the guitar. (I just need to mention that Mayah dressed herself that day).

Duane and the girls.

Okay! Just One More, I Swear.

So, I'm supposed to be cleaning because Ariel is coming to visit, TONIGHT. But my Malia and Matilda are sick and between taking care of them and all the cleaning, I'm tired. So, I'm taking a break and watching viral videos.

I LOVE this one:



I wish I could travel around the world, DANCING!!!

P.S. Mayah wants me to type her name, so I am. MAYAH. MAYAH!!!

Living in a van down by the river...

Don't worry, we haven't moved into a van (yet). We're still living in an apartment complex by a forested area. I got your attention though (Hee).

After my election night posts, I thought I'd lighten things up by doing another short update:

Duane is losing weight and looking great. In fact, he's lost so much weight he had to have his suit taken in and purchase new clothing because his old stuff was falling off of him. Lucky guy. As soon as I purchase a battery charger for our camera battery, I'll take some pictures and post them here. Until then, you'll just have to take my word for it.

After watching October Sky a few weeks ago, Duane thought it would be fun to purchase a rocket kit so he and the girls could build one and launch it. They haven't built it yet, but they will soon. Don't worry, it's just one of those little ones, nothing dangerous.

Our three girls keep me busy. Mayah and Malia are best friends and mortal enemies - They're 'frenemies' sisters. Needless to say, I play referee quite a bit, which is so fun. During the month of October, when I wasn't putting a stop to all the sisterly violence (seriously, they're worse then little boys), I was sewing Halloween costumes for the girls. I made Mayah a Princess Jasmine costume and Malia an Ariel costume (Ariel the Mermaid, not big sister Ariel) using this pattern. Matilda was a flower, but I didn't sew her costume.

I just finished reading, Letter To My Daughter by Maya Angelou. It's a quick read, just a collection of short essays and poems. It's quite good. If anyone wants to borrow it, let me know.

Ariel is keeping herself busy at BYU. She has a boyfriend, she really likes her roommates and, from what I can tell, she seems to be having a lot of fun in Provo. Apparently she's going to be tutoring kids at Provo High, which I just found out about (I hope she's getting paid for it).

Mayah is no longer obsessed with fire safety, although she still prays that we will 'be safe and not play with fires'. Her current worry is about stranger danger, which is fine with me - I want her to stay away from strangers. Mayah's favorite thing to do these days is make cards and give them to us. She also makes wrapping paper and wraps gifts (various toys of hers) and gives them to me. She really is a sweetheart (despite all the fighting she does with Malia). Oh, and Duane taught her who Barak Obama is so whenever he's on TV, she stops everything and watches. She likes watching Obama (sigh).

Malia really loves taking care of Matilda. It's quite cute actually, she is constantly handing me a bottle and telling me to feed the baby or change her diaper (even if she isn't hungry or stinky). Duane and I were really worried that Malia would have a difficult time with Matilda but she isn't (she never has).

Matilda started crawling soon after the last family update (you know, the 'musical' one). She's all over the place and is almost able to pull herself up to the standing position. She loves the vacuum especially when it's on, which makes it difficult for me to vacuum because she crawls after me (or rather, the vacuum) until she's able to climb on it. Matilda is a complete Daddy's girl. When Duane gets home from work, she crawls to him, giggling the whole time. When he's holding her, she's got an 'I just won the lottery' grin plastered on her face. It's really quite adorable.

Um...I suppose that is all the news we have for now. Please keep us (and Ford Motor Company, heck, the US economy) in your prayers because I really don't want to be living in a van down by the river (who would?).

Alive and Well (the musical)

Hey friends and family that still check here from time to time. Sorry I haven't done anything with this for a long time. I have no valid excuse for all the slackin', heck its not even like there was anything good on TV to distract me (which is funny because I'm getting going on the blogging thing again just as the new fall season starts up).

Anyway, this isn't going to be all that neat of an update. I just wanted everyone to know that we're all alive and well.

Duane's busy at work, like always but I am not complaining. We're just grateful that he has a good job and a steady paycheck. He's been getting in shape and is looking great. He's lost about 30 lbs in the last year (go Duane)

I'm not doing much these days. I've been reading a lot about politics but I hate thinking about it afterward because I tend to get all angry about it. I especially don't bring up politics with Duane because we do not agree about much these days (politically speaking). I'll let you guess who's the crazy conservative and who's the glue-sniffin' liberal (without all the glue-sniffin', of course).

Ariel is attending fall semester at BYU, playing the field (NOT! She says there is no one to date and I laughed hysterically because she's a BYU, but whatever). Ariel does keep herself busy doing whatever it is that zoobies do. She's also working at hogi yogi and at the stadium during football games as an usher. GO COUGARS!!!

Mayah's in kindergarten and she loves it. When she's not learning about firesafety at school (her current obsession is telling me how we'll get out of the house in case of a fire. Poor thing is sort of traumatized by all the firesafety talk. She had a nightmare about one the other night. So sad! but I digress...), she's spending time playing with Malia. They get along pretty well but they also love hurting eachother because...well, I don't know why, but they love beating up on eachother.

Malia cut her hair (yes, her beautiful curls are now messed up) the other day and I just about cried. She is obsessed with dogs and horses. Her favorite thing to do is pull Mayah's hair (I'm trying to put a stop to that). She loves dressing up in 'dancing dresses' and dancing. The girl has got some serious rhythm, too.

Matilda is up on all fours, scooting herself around but not yet crawling. She plays quite well by herself and is a good baby. She's such a happy baby and is always smiling at everyone. We call her 'Matilda Joy' because she is so happy and often joke about changing her middle name to 'Joy' (but we won't because we're lazy).

So that's our news. Nothing awsome, no pictures (because I lost our battery charger...I have the worst luck with cameras and their accesories) or anything but I did change the background and I added a new playlist (which is what makes this post 'musical'). The music is less mainstream but I love it because it's not being played on the radio or in stores or even on television shows. It's mostly mellow music but some is a little more upbeat. I hope all my readers enjoy listening to my playlist.

Fourth of July

I realize that the 4th was a while ago, but I still wanted to share these darling photos of the occasion. We spent Independence day in Utah this year. We kicked the day off in Provo, watching their parade. We ended up in Park City at Bitner Ranch. It was such a fun day!

Watching the parade in Provo

Matilda and Grandma Bitner

Mayah and cousin Morgan watching Underdog float by.

Me and my beautiful niece, Kelsey

Malia and her favorite cousin, Christopher (aka, Sha-shaw)

The Galan Grandchildren (those that were in attendence)

Eating s'mores in the back country of Bitner Ranch

Road Tripin'

Well, the girls and I have been driving all over the place during the last few weeks (while Duane was on a business trip to Europe). We are currently in Utah and have logged well over 4,500 miles (1900 of those miles were with Duane).

We drove from Michigan to Spokane, WA, Spokane to Vancouver, WA, Vancouver to Sandy, Utah, Sandy to Highlands Ranch, CO and Highlands Ranch to Sandy Utah. It's been insane.

In the car, the girls have viewed more TV then should be allowed, have memorized all the words to all the Backyardigan DVDs we own (which happens to be a lot), and eaten all the fast food they could handle. But in all seriousness, they've been really good for me. Especially while in the car. Even little Matilda has been an angel.

At each destination, the girls have made a lot of new friends, played with cousins, met a lot of doggies (and a few cats), and played in countless backyards (we currently don't have a backyard of our own, so this is a big deal).

Our vehicle is quite old and I've been traveling alone with 3 small children. Along the way, I've encountered a horrible snow storm (while driving through the Blue Mountains in Oregon), one vomiting child (Malia), problems with the car overheating (twice), several stinky diapers and one huge potty emergency (ME!). As far as I'm concerned, I know that we've been blessed to have made it so far without any serious problems.

I want to thank all our friends and family for praying on our behalf. We probably wouldn't have done so well had it not been for all of your prayers! Thank you.

Camera is fixed (and other news)

We finally got our camera back from the repair shop. I am glad because Matilda is growing like a weed and it would be a shame to miss out on anymore photo opportunities.

Matilda is now a little over 2 months old and at her last 'well baby' visit, she weighed 10 lbs, 11 oz. Matilda is quite healthy and happy. She started smiling at us a while ago but this is probably the first photo of her smiling. She enjoys attention. If it were up to her, we would hold her all the time. She is such a good baby and we all love her so very much.

Duane will be going to Europe again. He will spend some time in London and then finish his trip up in Spain. He has been quite busy with work and just recently had a surgery for his deviated septum. He is recovering quite well.

Ariel is finishing up her senior year of high school and preparing for BYU. We are all very excited for her.

Mayah is finishing up preschool and we have just been informed that she will be able to attend Kindergarten next year. She is reading a lot these days. She is very good at it. She is also quite good at spelling and her writing is quite good for someone her age. We are so proud of her.

Malia is still as silly as ever. She has started mocking me lately and as irritating as it is, she is quite cute. I find it difficult to keep a straight face when she is talking back to me. She spends a lot of time on the pink chair these days (the pink chair is our 'time out' chair). I don't think she minds being on the chair so long as she gets her chance to tell me what she thinks about being punished. I know I am in for it when she reaches her teen years.

I am still keeping myself busy by taking care of everyone but I read a lot during my spare time. I would appreciate some book suggestions as I will be doing some traveling this summer and I would like to have a long list of books to read. Anyway, leave your suggestions in the comments section! Thanks!

So...yeah, it's been a while

When I first started this blog, I was determined to keep it updated on a regular basis. Yeah, that hasn't happened. Sorry about that.

I want to post some awesome story about something but...I got nothin'...So instead I will just post pictures of my kids.

Matilda

Hello Friends and Family! As you can see from my last post, we have a new baby in our home. Sorry about not posting more then just one picture and NO information about our new little angel. I would have gotten to it sooner but I've been feeling a little under the weather since we welcomed our new little one into the world.

Matilda made her appearance nearly three weeks early on March 13, weighing in at 6 lbs. She has a head full of dark hair and looks like Duane. Matilda was born via c-section because her amniotic fluid was quite low and she was also frank breech (feet to face). Not to worry though because she is very healthy and strong. In fact, the nurses that cleaned her up commented on how big and strong she is. Her APGAR scores were 8 & 9.

It took us a while to decide on a name. Once we heard Mayah call her Baby Matilda we knew that we had to name her Matilda. The name Matilda means 'Strength in Battle'. Duane especially loves the meaning.

Mayah and Malia really love their new little sister. Mayah not only loves Matilda, she is especially concerned about Matilda's welfare. She keeps telling me what I need to do ("pick her up mom", "change her diaper", "pat her back"), and it is quite cute. Malia loves holding Matilda and would do so all day if I let her.

We have felt very blessed by Matilda's presence in our home. It's not just the fact that she is a very pleasant and content baby, it's as if the windows of heaven have been opened. All sorts of little miracles keep happening around here. We are so very blessed.

Matilda Isabella Bitner

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Greetings again this Christmas season. It’s been a great year for the Bitners and we hope it’s been a great one for you as well. Here’s our 2007 news, youngest to oldest.

On Mommy’s birthday our youngest gave us a great big surprise by making a pink line appear on a pregnancy test. (Actually 3 pregnancy tests so Mommy & Daddy were sure they weren’t hallucinating.). We’re excited for her arrival this Spring.

Little Malia turned 2 in July. She’s kept her head of curls and is our little fireball of energy & muscles. There’s no middle ground with her spunky personality, every experience of each day is either the worst trial anyone has ever gone through or the most fun activity anyone could possibly be having. She’s a blast.

Mayah has had quite a year with school at Perrinville in the mornings and during summer school. She also was accepted for Head Start this fall and has had a great time participating in things with all the other kids and learning to be a big person. She’s doing great, she has come so far in her ability to speak and interact with friends and family. She’s got a lot of spunk as well.

We have lots of fun with the girls. We did our garden again this year and the girls enjoy it as true tomboys should. Mayah especially enjoyed collecting worms and holding snakes this year. She and Malia learned how to make a mudhole and swim in it up to their necks. We spent a lot of time with cousins this year in Oregon, Ohio, Illinois, Utah and Indiana. All the cousins are so good with our girls. We are so grateful to have such great nieces & nephews.

Ariel went to an A Cappella competition at Disneyland with her choir and won 1^st place gold. She spent two months with us this summer. She also went to Youth Conference and Pioneer Trek and made some new friends. She also moved to Spokane in August. Senior year at a new school wasn’t the plan but as always she’s made friends and is having fun. In November she was admitted to BYU. She hasn’t decided on a major yet but Dad hopes she does something with her great writing skills. We’re so proud of her.

Besides the surprise birthday present, Penny’s year has been full of daily surprises from our girls. Mayah & Malia keep her hopping. Penny has been a consultant for clothing retailer Modbe and has spent a lot of time at the gym, we all make the goal each year but she’s kept it up pretty well. Penny put this blog together earlier this year, made dresses for the girls for Christmas and shares her talent & love with us in a hundred other ways each day. She is so good to us all.

Duane’s career is progressing with some new opportunities at Ford Motor Company. He is now a global commodity manager buying throttles and EGR systems for all engines manufactured by Ford in North America. He visited Hitachi in Japan and made two separate trips to Europe to visit several other suppliers. The highlight of his year was returning to Madeira where he served his mission 20 (yes, 20) years ago. He was able to visit there in May and again in November. He spent both visits with the Faria family and had a blast.

We are so grateful for our many blessings, our family and friends. Best wishes to you this Christmas season. Please view our 2007 slideshow below.

Love, the Bitners

Seasons change

It is finally cooling down here in Michigan. As of yesterday (Wednesday, October 10), we are finally getting the weather one would expect for this time of year. There were days last week that we were getting 89 degree weather. YIKES!!!

Since the weather has finally changed, I have been putting the girls summer clothing away. I couldn't help but get a little teary eyed when I realized that most of the stuff won't fit them ever again. I wish my kids would age a little slower so I can enjoy this precious time a little longer. I swear it doesn't seem that long ago that they were both babies. They have changed so much in such a short time.

Thinking about my girls and how quickly they have grown got me thinking about how quickly time passes. I also started thinking about how life unexpectedly changes. Looking back at the past 7 years made me realize that most of what has happened in my married life was not exactly planned by Duane or myself.

Seven years ago Duane and I were newly wed, super happy, inseparable and disgustingly in-love with each other. Both of us were happily employed and living in Colorado at the time. Duane and I had all sorts of plans for our future.

Five years ago, Duane and I had just moved from New Mexico (after living there one year) to Utah so Duane could attend BYU to get his MBA, I was 4 months pregnant with Mayah, I was only working 20 hours a week, Duane wasn't allowed to work (per BYU's request) and we were really struggling financially. Duane and I decided that graduate school was the best option as no one was hiring just one year after 9/11. We had no idea what we would do after Duane graduated.

Exactly three years ago, we had just moved to Michigan 3 months previously, Duane was working for Ford and was called to be the Elders Quorum President in our ward and I was 2 weeks pregnant with Malia and didn't even suspect as we weren't trying to have another baby at that time. Mayah was finally old enough to attend nursery at church but she kept me on my toes the rest of the week.

Just last year, Duane and I were seriously discussing the prospect of not adding to our family ever again. There were several reasons as to why we were discussing that possibility, all of which were valid reasons, most of which I will not go into now. At the time, I was feeling very overwhelmed with the girls. Mayah had recently been diagnosed with high-functioning, mild autism and Malia was a force to be reckoned with--a very stubborn and determined little toddler. Both children demanded a lot of time and attention from both Duane and myself, so we felt like it might be best to keep our family from expanding.

Now Duane is still employed at Ford, I am 15 weeks pregnant with our third child, Mayah is attending a wonderful preschool that has a program for autistic children and Malia is our fun little two year old. We are also very happy with the life we have.

Duane and I had no idea what life had in store when we first got married seven short years ago but our Heavenly Father sure did. It wasn't by chance that we ended up in Michigan. I know that Heavenly Father has guided us down this specific path for a reason. He knew what our family would need to pass through in order to be happy.

I know that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my family. I know that he loves us. I know that he only wants the best for us. I know he will do what he can so we might return to him some day. These thoughts are what keep me from giving up when life throws another surprise our way. These thoughts also keep me from running outside to shake my fist at the sky--and yell--when life takes yet another unexpected turn. ;)

Baby Bitner

Say hello to 'Baby' Bitner. This ultrasound was done September 4, 2007 and at that time the baby was measuring to be about 9 weeks 6 days along. I am positive that the measurement is off by a few days but that is besides the point.

We are quite excited for this new addition to our family. Duane doesn't mind if we have another girl so long as she is a healthy baby. Actually, Duane would prefer if this baby is another girl and so would I. I really love my girls and would be happy if we had a third little girl. Boys are nice and all but I don't believe I would have it in me to mother a little boy.

As far as naming this baby goes, I have a HUGE list of names--mostly girl names, of course. I had a list of favorite names when I got pregnant with Mayah but most of those names have been overused since then so I had to start from scratch. People keep asking me if I will give this baby an 'M' name as I already have a Mayah and a Malia. First off I have to say that I didn't intentionally go with 'M' names. It just so happened that I liked names that started with M's when I was naming my girls. I have to admit, I am leaning towards 'M' names yet again. Although, I don't believe I will choose an 'M' name for the sole purpose of keeping the theme going.

I keep saying I will choose the baby's name which is mostly true. Duane and I have an agreement that goes back to when we were engaged. I feel that since the mother does all the hard work, the mother should get to choose the baby's name. Duane is okay with that so long as he can veto any weird names like 'LaFawnduh'. Its lucky for Duane that I am not that "creative".

If anyone would like to make any name requests feel free to do so. Just know that I make no guarantee that I will put your suggestions on my list or that I will even like them. I don't mean to be a jerk but I am pretty picky about names.

I have a whole system that goes into naming my babies. There is a filtering process that each name must go through, which is:

a. The name must not be overused/popular but it also cannot be too unique or different.
b. The name must have a strong/good meaning. Example: Mayah is a hebrew name and it means 'Close to God').
c. If the name belongs to a notorious person or even just someone I really hated growing up, the name has been tainted and I won't consider it. Example: The name Joshua is forever ruined for me because I have known SEVERAL Joshuas that were total jerks...that is not to say ALL Joshuas are jerks--just the majority that have come into my life. Also, I will never consider the name Monica for obvious reasons.
d. The name cannot rhyme with any body part, adjective, or anything else that could be used against my child in school yard battles. Example: Fat Pat
e. I am not a fan of using family names. So far I haven't used any family names. Don't get all offended if you submit your name and I don't use it. I am not going to have 100 children so I won't be able to name my children after every single relative. I don't want any jealousy so I figure I might as well not use ANY family names. If that still doesn't clear things up, just remember that Duane and I won't even consider using our own names.
f. I don't use surnames as middle names. I don't want there to be a question of whether or not we are hyphenating our children's last names or whatever. My children only have one last name and that is Bitner. I feel that a middle name is a second name that my child can fall back on if they decide that their first name isn't what they want to go by. Example: There was a kid named Lance that went to school with me. It turned out that his first name was Gary and Lance was his middle name. I can see why he went by the name Lance when he was a kid/teenager since Gary is more of an adult name.
g. I will never use a name just because it "sounds cute".
h. The name cannot be made up.
i. I do not believe in alternative spelling. The spelling of the name must already exist in order for me to consider the alternative spelling. Why make it more difficult for people to pronounce the name?
j. This isn't exactly super important but I do like names that I can shorten and make into a nickname. Example: I usually call Mayah, My-My and Malia, Li-Li (pronounced Lee-lee).

I realize that my baby naming system is ridiculous but I want to make sure that my kids have good/strong names that will be with them throughout their lives. I also want my children to know that I put a lot of time and effort into naming them. My baby naming process is one way for me to let my children know that I love them.